[Principle #2] Learn from your (and my) mistakes
Take a deep breath and learn to find the genius in criticism
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Learn from your (and my) mistakes
Welcome to the second post of an entire series in the “Principles” thread, where I hope to re-define the principles of successful networking.
Please see below for historical posts in this thread:
Let’s jump in - this one will be personal.
Principle #2: Learn from your mistakes
Some context: I was on the hunt for buy-side investing jobs in NYC 5 years ago and, after mishandling an introduction, I got the email below from a top hedge fund manager:
Fast forward 5 years, and this same person is a close mentor and is even a subscriber on this very blog.
Let me walk you through what has happened in between - the good, the bad, and the ugly:
First, the ugly: Although my response to him was respectful (see below), it was full of excuses, claiming that this was a miscommunication. I will let you guess whether I got a response. :)
The bad: Hiring and networking is a world built on first impressions, and as you can imagine, this introduction didn’t go anywhere in the near-term.
The good: Relationships are built with time and a LOT of self-reflection. I have been in touch with this person over the years. Moreover, I saw that he subscribed to my blog two weeks ago and, aside from being shocked, my mind went straight to that email from five years ago. This led me to write the note below (the result of which you are currently reading):
Takeaways:
Lesson #1: Don’t project your excuses onto people if they feel a certain way and remember that THEY are probably right. Take a deep breath and learn to find the genius in every piece of criticism.
Lesson #2: Communication is everything - be careful with your calendar and be even more careful with someone else’s reputation when you’ve been introduced. Every one of your actions today will have ripple effects into the future.
Lesson #3: Don’t forget to thank the people that built you (especially through constructive criticism), and do it often! Here’s a hint: one thank you is typically not enough.
Exercise: Find an email where you got criticized and share your analysis and findings below. For bonus points, reach out to the person and thank them for refining you and let us know if you hear back!
Thoughts/questions on this post or have a suggestion for the next post? Please click below to post a comment!
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This was a great story Aleksey and it reminds me of the notion that people have very long memories when it comes to business.
I was always taught you have 2 things going for you in life...Your name which lasts forever and your reputation which can be destroyed in a matter of seconds.
Kudos to you for learning from this and using it as a catalyst!
This is very helpful and insightful as I am striving to build professional relationships on strong foundations. Receiving constructive feedback, sooner rather than later, could expedite the building process. I loved that you circled back to show appreciation for such feedback.