[Principle #1] Stop thinking about yourself
Isn’t networking just taking from others?! That feels wrong!
Last week:
Takeaway: We are a community and I am certain that you’ll learn from each other even more than you’ll ever learn from me. Let’s work together to redefine “blog” to “community.”
Action item: Go straight to the comment section to join nearly 80 comments from people offering/asking for help! Industries mentioned include: investment banking, private equity, venture capital, real estate, software engineering, sales, customer service, etc.
Next week:
How to get the attention of a president in 5 simple steps!
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“Isn’t networking just taking from others?!”
Welcome to the first post of an entire series in the “Principles” thread, where I hope to re-define the principles of successful networking.
Let’s jump straight into it:
Principle #1: Stop thinking about yourself. Be patient - you will always get your chance.
You are probably thinking one of two things:
“Isn’t thinking about oneself the entire purpose of networking? Let’s be honest - we’re all here to advance ourselves.”
“How could I stop thinking about myself? We are intrinsically selfish human beings!”
Let’s discuss #1 today.
First, let’s agree on something. You are right - everyone at that cocktail hour is there for one reason and one reason only (to network).
Now that we’re in agreement, let’s differentiate between the majority and the minority*:
Majority: put their needs first following 1-5 minutes of fake interest in the other person.
Minority: listen (not just hear - there’s a difference) to what the other person’s true needs are and genuinely offer help or an introduction that may be useful. Don’t mention yourself at all, unless you are specifically asked.
*- from my observations, the minority is 1-5% of any room and these tend to be the real networking winners over the long term
Takeaway: When you’re speaking to someone, put the other party’s interests before your own. As with any undeveloped muscle, having the mindset of a giver takes practice!
Exercise: When you approach someone for help this week, try to find out a way you can help them before mentioning your own needs. Better yet, reconnect with an old friend or someone unemployed on LinkedIn and offer to help! Please leave a comment below on how this exercise went for you!
Thoughts/questions on this post or have a suggestion for the next post? Please click below to post a comment!
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Next week:
How to get the attention of a president in 5 simple steps
Awesome post! I never thought about the majority and minority points you made about networking but I completely agree that I would say the minority is definitely more successful.
As a recruiter myself, my job is all about networking. Sometimes candidates profiles on LinkedIn don't always match their resumes. I personally started my own database for my company where I keep resumes for future positions that open up. What I learned is that this is how to build a pipeline of candidates and at the same time building my own network. Just because a candidate you speak with now is not the right fit doesn't mean that conversation needs to be a waste. The next position that we get, could be for that person.
One other point to make is that transparency is key for me as a recruiter but I also think when networking this tool can be useful as well. There is no reason to lead someone on to say that you think you can help them if you cant. When you tell someone that you will help, try and follow through because that person is probably waiting on you. Even if the follow up with them is that the connection didn't work out that is okay. Sometimes the answer is no.
This is a great post. I think networking is a 24-hour a day gig as you never know when you'll come across your next prospect, job, client, etc. Always have an open mind as people have long memories and remember if folks are genuinely interested or just going through the motions.
Well done Aleksey!